Holy Mother of Crap

Ok-- for the last few days I have been lamenting my cucumber plants' failure to yield cucumbers. The plants are growing well, I've had tons of flowers, but no veggies yet. Just little bumpy nubs behind the flowers.

Today I was telling the farmer next to me at the market about it. He said that they grow really fast once they got started and that one day I would just walk out and there would be cucumbers. Yeah right.

Today I walked out and took my daily look at the plants.

I lifted up a few low vines and saw little bumpy nubs as usual. Then, suddenly, a little higher, I spotted a pickle sized cucumber. He was right! I swear...it was NOT there the day before.

I looked around and found another, bigger, cucumber. Sweet mother of crap! I have cucumbers!! I plucked it immediately, ran inside, shot a quick pic (Max was very interested) and promptly cut a chunk off to try. Fabulous! I grow fabulous cucmbers! OMG!

Buoyed by my spectacular find, I went out and looked again. I found another nice sized one growing half way through the fence. I snapped off the bottom half from my side of the fence and stowed it in the fridge. Then this happened.



Maybe you can't tell how big this thing is. So here it is in perspective. I made Christian model it. The sucker must weigh six pounds.

I am sure it is well past its prime, judging by the yellowing, but I will cut it up and taste it anyway. If it's not good, the chickens can have it. Every day for a month.

I can has cucumbers.