Warning: I have a really awful story. Really. Awful. I am not sure I am ready to tell it - I don't know if you want to read it. I just know I am sick. So sad and so sick and so want to throw in the towel on loving animals.
Yesterday we found Milhouse dead. In the house. Several months - over a year actually, of serious denial have hit us so hard that I don't really know how to start coming back.
Max killed Milhouse. And we know know he must have also killed Boone. I had convinced myself that the Boone incident was a terrible accident. And I suppose it was. I don't think Max likely meant to kill either cat, but here we are. Two dead kittens and a dog in the animal shelter. I am devastated. I don't feel like I can ever have more pets. I just can't do this kind of pain again.
I am still in shock and after five ducks, two turkeys and two kittens, still in denial about Max. That dog slept with Milhouse. They were friends. I don't understand how this could have happened.
I just want Milhouse back. I failed him so miserably. I am trying to make things right, but losing two pets in one day does not feel "right." I just want Milhouse back.
And I really want to quit sometimes.
What I know is that we can't keep taking in hard luck strays. Not every animal can come live on our farm. We can't fix what is wrong with hard-to-place rescue dogs.
That being said, Little Chicken will stay. But without her best friend. We both just want Milhouse back. Sometimes life really, really sucks.
Hmmm. Where to Start?
3 months ago