This morning, Christian came into the dairy today singing a ridiculous new song that made me want to share our sad, sad history of bad made-up songs with you. I probably should apologize in advance.
For us, it started back when I was doing the Stupidest Job on the Farm with more regularity. One day Doralee was eyeballing me & the food from atop Christian's skateboard. For reasons still unclear, it made me get the Smith's Girlfriend in a Coma stuck in my head. But instead of girlfriend in a coma, I heard "Chicken on a Skateboard." I never got past the first couple of lines, but I never could do SJOTF without singing it a little. ...or rather a little of the song, a LOT.
...Chicken on a skateboard, I know - I know it's serious....
I don't remember when, but some months later, I finally shared it with C. No point in keeping that kind of crazy to yourself. I think I embarrassed us both. But succeeded in getting it into his head.
Many months later, we learned we were not alone. Our friend Eric has a pet monkey named Mick Jagger. (Long story - don't ask.) When Mick gets bathed - which is pretty frequently - Eric sings him, "Wash the Monkey". You know, to the Peter Gabriel song Shock the Monkey.
Then, when Mick gets dried off, he is apparently treated to a jaunty rendition of "Funky Towel". Eric swears that Mick really enjoys this.
It is a comfort and a sadness to know our affliction is shared. Christian told Eric about Chicken on a Skateboard and we bathed in the knowledge that we were charter members of a small, weird club.
Anyhoo-- back to this morning. C announced that in the grand tradition of singing warped Peter Gabriel to your animals, he had a new song for the pigs.
He started in with..
I've got the whey, you're drinking it.
It's gonna make you grow, yeah!
We both cracked up like mental patients and then went about our dairy work. Until I couldn't stand it anymore and belted out:
Your ham's getting bigger!
You're thigh's getting bigger!
Anyway, that's all. I defy you to not sing one of these little ditties for the rest of the day. It is a sickness. It is hard to cure.
I'm gonna watch you grow, yeah!
Identifying the Serpent
9 months ago